Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Not so random thoughts...



Tomorrow is Mary's birthday party. She and her friends will be at a lovely park riding the antique carousel and the train and playing princess, among other pastimes. While the dough is chilling tonight for the royal cookies, and since the cake is already baked, I'll take time to write these not so random thoughts.

Lately I've been pondering the whys and wherefores of what I do each day. And the answers are not always so easy to find. Because it comes down to the purpose behind everything. And just what is that purpose? Simply this-- I live in hope: the hope that what I do on this earth each and every day matters, because God is there with me; and He is the One for Whom I live. He gave my life to me. He knows what is in my heart; He knows the reasons why I do what I do. He understands without me having to explain anything. And it all matters to Him because He loves me, no matter what. He made me because He loves me. He is my best and dearest confidante. I can tell Him anything, and I do. He listens, He hears, and He loves me. Always, everywhere.

And so I live in love, too. I see Him in His creatures, and it is that which makes me love them, what makes me want to give to them. For me, it's just a small way of showing my gratitude to Him for all that He has given me. It is such an easy thing to give when I see the gifts of God all around me. So I try to be there for my children and my friends and anyone who needs me; because time is one of the most valuable gifts of all.

This blog? It's something I write for myself, "my virtual book of days", I once called it. But I hope that it is somewhat of a gift for you who read it: sometimes a rather enigmatic one, but a gift from my very heart. I can only be who I am; and I don't know how to be anything but honest. My thoughts, my feelings, my memories--and so much more: they're in these lines. Here I am before you-- an open book, though not always an easy one to read; but one which I hope you'll remember fondly when all the chapters are finished.